New Orleans on Film

We try to get to New Orleans as often as we can. This trip was short but was enough to fill my spirit until the next time we are able to visit.

Would you believe me if I told you that the celebration images are a funeral? The streets are constantly filled with music, and each door way holds history that you could almost feel.

all images shot on the Mamiya/Sekor with Kodak Portra 400

 

 

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Emmitt’s in Home Newborn Session

Emmitt’s sweet family have been clients of mine for a few years. Ever since their oldest, Harry was born. I can’t believe he will be 3 this year! I was so excited that I was able to photograph this sweet, in home newborn session.

With everything that has been going on it felt so wonderful to get back to what felt like my normal day to day! Also, I adore this family! Snuggling little newborn Emmitt was a dream! He was a wonderful little baby for his session! So happy and content! I hope you enjoy this sweet and cozy session as well. It’s the perfect day to snuggle up together and rest and don’t forget to take time to jump on the bed and snuggle your fur babies too!

Cheers…

 

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Momming Slow.

How did I get to be the way that I am? Is it my generation, or this fast paced world that we live in? If we aren’t making the most noise does anyone even hear us?

I am a doer, a go getter and a mover. My brain never stops thinking and processing and moving. Until the last year I never really noticed how much I just went… without thinking. I constantly feel rushed and that if I am not moving then I must be wasting time. I have been doing so much soul searching since I turned 30. Now 32 I have never felt more of a pull to slow down. To watch more, listen more, and be still.

I don’t think my crave for adventure and new things will ever go away, that’s part of who I am. But, I can do it slower. Just like my parenting.

This last winter has felt so long here in Minnesota. I happened to be driving by my favorite Green House, Queen Beez, one afternoon and decided to swing in with Georgia and Bowdy to feel some warmth and see green living plants! Crystal, the owner is a sweetheart and let us hang out in the warm green house with her. I was in no rush to get back home to what can most days feel so full of mundane chores. So we stayed. Crystal let Georgia help her fill seed starters with dirt while Bowdy played with a truck and chased around the Green House puppy.

We spent an hour or so chatting and playing and I was happy. Happy just to watch and listen and feel the dirt on my hands. We of course left with a few new plants and happy hearts.

It has been one of my goals to parent slower. To speak with a calmer voice, to not rush them when they are just trying to understand this world they are growing in! Because they are so innocent yet. So in awe of every new thing that they see.  These kids just want to soak it all up (and so do I) so why do I feel the need to rush it all?

Slow was my inspiration for these Green House sessions. To stop and learn to grow. It was such a joy to have Sophia and her beautiful girls Beatrice & Elouise join me for the morning session. We all need a good reminder to slow down and enjoy the moments before they are gone.

 

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Location: Queen Bee’s Lawn & Garden Prior Lake 

Sophia is Wearing: Stone + Willow

I am So Embarrassed!

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As I sit here typing this my mouth is still totally numb.

It’s numb from the root canal that I just had to have done…

I had to have the root canal because I haven’t been to the dentist in 7 years!!!! Can you believe that. I bet you can. Because somewhere out there another woman is reading this and thinking the same thing… “I really should get into the dentist”

I haven’t been because I have pushed it off. Because my mouth didn’t hurt and it would cost too much. I also never made the time. Finding time for yourself is hard enough as a mom, but time to actually take care of yourself seems even harder unless it feels urgent. About a year ago I noticed that my tooth felt funny. Turns out a piece had broken off. And then another small piece and another. But still I had no pain. So I actually made an appointment to get it checked out. Had I done the yearly dental checks they would have caught this and taken care of it with a small filling, but now I’m out a whole bunch of money and have a numb mouth. COME ON KRISTA!!!!

On another self-care tip. I have always had bad eyes…. I promise it does not affect my job as a photographer but it sure does effect my driving, reading, writing, watching TV and computer work! So I thought I’d get my eyes checked since night-time driving seems so much worse. And sure enough my eyes have gotten worse since the last check up which was… about 7 years ago. My right eye in fact has gotten 7 times worse.

When I covered my left eye at the appointment to read that handy chart, I could only see the very top letter. A big fat “E” the rest was a complete blur. I actually started crying. That poor eye tech guy didn’t even know what to do with me!

Are you seeing a trend here….

7 years between visits

7 times worse

Our oldest just turned 7

I really like the number 7, but not today.

Today I am so frustrated with myself.

If I am not taking care of myself how can I expect to take care of my family. The ones who need me most. In the past 7 years all I have done is make excuses for why I can’t go to the dentist or eye doctor. Why I can’t do so many things and that’s all they are, excuses.

The definition of excuse is…

  1. :attempt to lessen the blame attaching to (a fault or offense); seek to defend or justify.
    For so long I sought to defend my reasoning.
    I don’t have time.
    We don’t have the money.
    Who will watch my kids.
    I don’t need it.
    It’s not a big deal.
    And now look what I have done….

What do you need to do today to stop making excuses?

To take better care of yourself so that you can then turn around and take the best care of those around you? I can’t stress this enough. 7 minutes is too long to wait to make that call. Set up that appointment, get up earlier, start fresh. You owe it to yourself.

 

 

 

The last day to pick!

Today! Today we went strawberry picking with my sweet friend Kristen.

I have NEVER been before and had no idea what to expect. I got even more excited when the guy telling us what to do said that today was the last day to pick! How lucky is that? The only thing I really wanted out of today was for Bowdy to wear his overalls and to get a picture of him from behind so that I could see all his curls. Those curls are starting to get a little out of control and I’m afraid that I will soon have to get him a hair cut. I promise you I will cry when they are gone.

The girls did amazing. They loved every moment of it and Georgia told me that this was the BEST DAY EVER!!!

I kissed all of their beautiful faces full of strawberry juice and loaded them in the car when we were ready to leave.

I am so thankful.

Thankful for all three of them

for my flexible job

for summer vacation

for sweet friends that love on my kids

for building a buisness that lets me take adventures with them on Tuesday mornings

I am just so thankful.

 

 

 

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IKEA Band-Aids

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It was a few weeks after Bowdy was born and I was feeling shut in. Back to real life with three young kids now and being alone most days, trying to navigate our new norm. Paisley had just turned 5 in January and Georgia had just turned 3 in February. Not being able to go to the gym yet, or really knowing how to go about doing anything with three kids at this point, we were spending a lot of time at home. The days were long… and the never ending demands were wearing on a tired momma.

On this specific day I got a text from a friend around 9am asking if I wanted to join her and another friend at IKEA at 10am for some shopping and lunch! I did a little happy dance at the thought of someone asking me to get out of the house for the day and then said, “I would love to come, but I don’t want to bring all the kids to IKEA.” She then replied back, “They have a free play place for the kids. So we can shop while they play.” I then carried on with my happy dance and decided, “Heck YES, we will go!”

Then I looked at the clock… it was already 9am, to get to IKEA by 10am I would have to leave in 15 minutes.

None of us were dressed for the day and the diaper bag was not packed. So I got down real close to my girls’ faces and said in a very sweet and loving voice, “Some friends are all going to a play place to play- do you guys want to go?” Of course they said yes. Then I said, “Great!! Go get dressed and ready to go while I get Bowdy and myself ready.”

To be fair I just told my 5 & 3 year old to go get completely ready on their own in the next 15 minutes. You would think that this would be enough time, right? SO WRONG. By the time I got dressed, threw on a hat and some mascara (the only real makeup a new mom needs- can I get an amen?!), packed the diaper bag, and went to get the girls from their room where they not only had not gotten dressed yet, but had now managed to make a mess of toys because they forgot what they were supposed to be doing the minute they saw the My Little Ponies.

I asked them kindly, one more time, “Please stop playing and get dressed so we can go play with friends. I’m going to go get Bowdy in the car and when I come back, I want you ready to go. OK?????”

They both looked at me and said “OK.”

However… the task was still not complete when I returned. So then I turned into the kind and patient mother that I am and started yelling… which led to crying and whining and a temper tantrum from the 5 year old.  And an argument about what jacket the 3 year old could wear on the cold day in April! I might have even yelled something like, “Why are you crying, we are going to see your friends… hurry up!!!!!!!”

Nice Krista, like that will work!

On the way to IKEA, before we hit the freeway, Bowdy was in an all out screaming fit. Newborn crying is the worst, especially in the car. It’s then that I realized he was hungry. I tried to ignore it in hopes that he would fall asleep and I could feed him when we got there, but he didn’t let up. And now it was upsetting the girls. So I pulled over and hopped in the back seat on a country road to feed the hungry boy while the girls played in the back seat. 20 more minutes, a few burps later, the Disney station on Pandora, and we were back on our way to IKEA to meet our friends…

So we could play.

So we could get out of the house.

Because I was invited.

Because I wanted to.

Because I was bored.

So the kids could have fun.

Because I feel bad saying “no.”

We reached IKEA only 10 minutes late!

I was excited and relieved to meet our friends inside! It was so good to see a few adult faces that I recognized right away! We all said our hello’s and made our way to the magical IKEA play zone that would watch our kids for free for an hour while we shopped. Only to find out that the kid zone was full. According to the staff member, they can only take a certain number of kids and they were full! They then handed us a beeper, like at a restaurant that would tell us when they could take our kids. My face at this point must have said it all… total shock!!!!

All together my two girl friends and I have 9 kids. 9 KIDS under 6…

Trying to stay positive I turned to my friends and said, “OK, well, um, let’s just shop. What did you guys want to come here to look at?”

I was expecting an answer like… a new table, rugs, lamps, a couch for the office, a fun new plate set that was a must have. However, none of these were the answer. The answer was simply “BAND-AIDS”

WHAT? That’s right, I said it- WHAT??? If you know me well enough you can see my face. The slight tilt of my head, my eyes getting a little bigger and my voice changing a bit. I can’t easily hide my emotions so I’m sure I looked ridiculous. We drove to IKEA for BAND-AIDS!!!

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(side note though- they are really nice band-aids)

We gathered up our troops + 3 strollers and headed upstairs to the kids area to find the band-aids and let our crew play while we waited for the buzzer to sound letting us know we could shop kid-free.

That’s when one of the kids got her fingers caught in the elevator! She was quite the trooper but us moms were a little panicked. We got her calmed and on our way! Found the band-aids and let the kids play for awhile, then it happened. THE BUZZER!!!!!

FREEDOM!!!!! We rushed back down to the kids zone to drop the older kids off (they only take the potty trained ones) and we were off. We had an hour to just wander, catch up, and push the youngest 3 in the strollers. We took full advantage! And then calmly and happily went back to get our kids when the hour was up.

I picked up Georgia and put her on my hip as we made our way to the lunch area and that’s when I noticed my side starting to feel funny. A little warm, a little cold… Oh my goodness, I’m all wet… wait… she’s all wet… is this pee?

Yep, it’s pee. Georgia had peed her pants while in the play zone because she was too shy to ask where the bathroom was. She was also wearing very dark leggings so you couldn’t tell at all unless you touched them. GREAT! So I took her to the bathroom and got her changed (I always carry an extra pair of pants for G; this girl is notorious for waiting too long). However, this didn’t solve my problem of now having a pee soaked shirt on. So, in 3rd-time-mom fashion I put my jacket back on and walked out of the bathroom and to the cafeteria to get our lunch. It’s a real shame that IKEA doesn’t sell clothes, they would have made an easy sale that day.

During lunch all of the older 6 kids sat at a table while us moms and the babies sat next to them at our own table, trying desperately to enjoy our meal. The older ones honestly did pretty well, you know, the usual. Talking too loud, running around and not actually eating their food. But, we didn’t have to yell so I call that a win. At one point all of us moms where nursing at the same time at our table. When Bowdy was finished eating I went to burp him and quickly realized that he had pooped all the way up his back and now it was on my hands. Back to the bathroom I went. At this point I was almost in tears.

As I’m writing this I keep laughing at myslef. How was this my day that day?! It’s that comical.

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We soon left IKEA and my girls fought all the way home, to the point that I yelled so hard my throat hurt. The baby cried all the way home, and when we finally got home G wouldn’t nap because now she was over-tired and over-stimulated.

I sat down that night and made a promise to myself that I would never do this to my kids again. And the hard part was that it wasn’t a bad thing.

But, I would never again make plans the morning-of in fear of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). I would stick to routines and schedules that work for our family and I would say, “no, thank you,” to things, making more room for other “yes’s.”

I did the chaos that day. I created it. I made myself flustered, angry, and frustrated, and in turn did the same to my kids. Who then felt pushed aside, stressed, and G was embarrassed over peeing her pants. So now, as much as I want to still say “Yes” to the last minute invites to the park (or even the week-out invites to the zoo), I sometimes say “no,” and that’s OK. I want to be secure enough in who I am to say NO. To not be afraid of FOMO. That’s something God and I have really worked on over the past year.

He has worked so many wonders in my heart on this subject. He has given me this  specific word and His, in knowing that I am already secure in who He has made me. The word that I heard from Him was Confidence. Confidence first in who He is, in how I should trust Him, and who He has made me to be.

It’s not that I didn’t enjoy the time I got to spend with my girl friends that day- it’s the price I paid to do it. And my kids are worth more than that price. They deserve better from me. And I can do better. I’m sure you have all been in a similar situation. I am telling you right now, it’s OK to say “not today.” Our crazy lives are chaotic enough without us adding to it. Slow down today, and tomorrow, and the next, and make space for the beautiful in the mundane to happen. I promise you’re not missing out.

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Welling Over

The woman at the well is a very popular story told all over church congregations and in Christian circles world wide. We have all heard it preached or touched on.

Jesus is at the well in Samaria resting while the disciples head into town to find food. Now, it’s the middle of the day in the desert, the sixth hour, that means it’s HOT! I’m not talking it’s a little hot… It’s the desert. I personally have never been to the desert, but I can imagine that it’s not very pleasant. It’s the kind of hot and dry that keeps us indoors in the summer. The kind of HOT that melts ice cream in a moment and leaves you sticky and unsatisfied.

So, it’s the sixth hour and Jesus is hanging out at this well. The women of the town have collected their water in the early morning when it’s not yet this hot. Smart women! Who wants to go carry heavy water in the desert when it gets warmer during the day? Not this girl! So along comes a woman, in the middle of the day, to collect her water.

Why is she coming in the heat of the day to get her water?

Because all of the other women have left at this point and won’t be there. She has no desire to be around them. To be around the women that would judge her; that would talk about her behind her back (or in front of her, for that matter). Have you ever walked into a room or conversation and all of the chatter comes to sudden halt? And you just feel icky, and know that the conversation might have been about you? That’s how I imagine this woman feeling when she goes to the well in the morning with all the other women. She feels alone, judged, misunderstood, and out of place.

Can you relate? I can.

You see, this woman has now had 5 husbands and the man she’s living with now is not her husband. In that time this was NOT OK. You didn’t live with men unless they were your husband or a family member. You also didn’t typically get married more than once. Also, women were not really spoken to by men. So imagine her surprise when Jesus starts speaking to her and asking her for a drink.

I could imagine her turning and looking around to make sure he was really talking to her, and not someone else. Like when you think someone is waving at you, and you wave back, and then realize they are waving at someone behind you, and it gets real weird for all parties involved…!

And then Jesus does the unthinkable by asking her for a drink of water. He asks a Samaritan (who the Jews did not speak to) woman (who the men did not speak to) for a drink. The crazy thing is that He knows all of her sins. He knows exactly who she is. He is God, He is all knowing! She doesn’t understand, and asks Him why he has nothing to draw water with himself? Jesus goes on to to say to her “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that is saying to you, “Give me a drink,” you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.”

The woman stands there dumbfounded! Not only does Jesus have nothing to draw water from the well with, but what “living water” is he talking about? She asks him if he is greater than Jacob, the man who built the well. Until this point, Jacob has been the one to look to. Jesus explains to her that “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

“SIR, GIVE ME THIS WATER, SO THAT I WILL NOT BE THIRSTY OR HAVE TO COME HERE TO DRAW WATER.”

This request is simple. She still has no idea that she is talking to Christ, but the idea of never being humanly thirsty again and never having to come to this well in the middle of the day again sounds so sweet to her that she asks for it right then and there. It’s then that Jesus tells her that he knows all her sins. About her many husbands and the man she lives with now. She thinks he may be a prophet. She knows that the Messiah is coming. She tells him this. She has a full understanding of what she has heard up until this point. That Christ will come and “He will tell us all things.” That’s what she says to Jesus.

John 4:25- The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.”

I can’t imagine what she must be trying to process in this moment. This guy knows everything about me and he says he has living water, that I will never be thirsty again??? Who is this man?

He then says (probably very cool-ly) “I who speak to you am he.”

This sweet woman then drops her water jar! Can you see it falling to her dirty and dry feet as she realizes who she is speaking to? The water splashing all over the ground and her taking off towards town? The NLT version of the bible says that she “ran back to the village, telling everyone.”

She RAN, in the heat of the day because she was welling over with living water. She RAN back to the town where she has been mocked, left alone, pushed away, disgraced, and unaccepted, to tell these people about Jesus! The very people who she made a point to steer clear of by gathering her water in the heat of the day.  She couldn’t contain herself. And they all listened. They all went and believed.

This woman was a sinner and Jesus chose her to RUN and tell everyone about him. He could have picked anyone from that town. He could have gotten there in the early morning and sat with all the other women who would have been there filling their water jars. But he waited for that sinner. That lost woman, needing a friend, a savior, and living water, so that she would never be thirsty again.

I love that Jesus uses the stories of the sinners to speak to this world. He wants your mess because he is BIGGER than it. He covers it and the moment you grasp that you will have no choice but to well over with that living water and splash it on everyone else. Oh my gosh, LORD give me that water! I don’t want to contain it! I want to drop my jar of problems at my feet, at your feet, in the heat of the day and RUN to the people who despise me, to tell them about you! I want to cast aside all my fear of judgment because you are the ultimate judge. Lord let my life well over with your living water.

 

 

 

Jason & Amelia’s Engagement session

What can say about Jason and Amelia? They are just the best!!

After 7  years of dating this is a couple that knows who one another is, what sets them on fire. You can see it shine through them when they are together! They have the most genuine smiles towards one another.  They are just the cutest.

Jason and Amelia didn’t know what exactly they wanted for their engagement session so they gave me the go ahead to do whatever I wanted! So, I did. I set out to find a dress, a florist, a canoe, and a bunch of food to style their session to perfection. I love that they were open to anything. Even when that “anything” meant getting in a canoe, on a really windy day, on a cold lake and standing up in it while I shouted directions from shore.

It was such a fun shoot and I am so excited for their June wedding. They are a beautiful couple with so much life to give to those around them.

I hope this session inspired you to do something fun, and maybe even a little out of your comfort zone.

Floral Styling by : Cassie, of Two Designs

 

 

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Bowdy’s Birth Story and a Lesson in Why God’s Plan is Better.

I have always loved St. Patrick’s day. I love the food, the music, the atmosphere and even the traditional Green Beer! And now that I know the real story about St. Patrick, I love it even more. If you don’t know the true story of St. Patrick I encourage you to do some research, or heck, just call me- I’d love to tell you all the details and about how much he loved Jesus and needed to share the gospel.

Anyway…last year on St. Patrick’s day is when I went into labor with our third baby.

Now, let me back up. A third baby was never in our plans. After Georgia was born, Jason and  I had decided we were done having babies. That our two beautiful and healthy girls were just what we needed. Also, we had been through 2 miscarriages as well and I just didn’t want to go though another one. And, I don’t like being pregnant. I get so sick and not just in the 1st trimester- like the entire time. So we did what all families do when they decide they are done having babies and gave EVERYTHING away!!!!!

Literally, a few weeks later I was feeling awful. I chalked it up to traveling a lot and being pretty busy with work and let it all just go. I never even thought to take a pregnancy test until I was about 4 weeks late. I know right, denial. I honestly thought the test would be negative, that there was no way I could be pregnant. That I would probably have to make a doctors appointment to figure out what was wrong with me.

I had been editing the day I took the test at 2 in the afternoon. I placed it on the bathroom counter, walked away to check my uploads and actually got distracted for the next 30min. I was that oblivious! So imagine my surprise when the test was a full blown positive!

I did what any rational girl would do and phoned a friend! Crying, and to be honest, I said some non-church words too. How could this be??? We are done? I don’t want another baby!! We gave EVERYTHING away!!! I don’t like being pregnant!!! On and on and on. Everything but excitement went through my head.

So for the next 7 months we rallied and gathered everything to bring home a new baby again! I was fairly healthy during this pregnancy and was only severely sick once, so that was a total blessing, and like our previous pregnancy’s we didn’t find out the sex of the baby and I honestly was convinced it was another girl. Which would have been fine.  I wrapped my head around the idea of 3 kids slowly and focused a lot on work up until the week before my due date.

A few fun pics from my pregnancy!

 

So there we were St. Patrick’s day 2016. In the spirit of the holiday my mom and I decided to order Ruben Sandwiches from the local restaurant here in Elko. They were so good- I thought I wasn’t hungry but soon had finished the entire sandwich, plus fries, and most of my mom’s soup too. When I got up to clean up from lunch I had to sit back down from contraction pain. Now some background: I have always had contractions with my other pregnancy’s that turned into nothing. I have also always been induced a week +1 day over my due date. So when the contractions started I didn’t think much of them, thinking they would soon go away and I would walk into the hospital sometime the week after and start the induction process.

Well, they didn’t stop!! I showered and Jason came into say goodbye to me to go pheasant hunting and asked if I was OK while I leaned over the bathroom sink to a contraction. I said “yes, just contractions, see you later” and off he went. Because this had happened with the girls he thought nothing of my calm state. However, when he returned to find my mom still at our house telling him to go upstairs and get ready to go he was a little shocked.

I had now been in early labor for 6 hours at home. The contractions were coming every 4 minutes lasting for a minute or longer and I still didn’t want to go to the hospital. It took some coaxing from Jason and my mom and my sweet birth coach Sandy to get me to leave the house. But we finally did.

When we got to the hospital though I was only at 2cm…

But, our nurse announced that we were going to stay and that we would be having our baby soon!!! Tears of joy started running down my face, and we sent Jason out to the car to get the bag. Because, like I said I didn’t think we would be staying.

I took this blurry but perfect picture of Jason as he came in from getting our bag. We were so excited! It was now around 7pm.

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The next few hours as we got settled in we did all the tricks. Walking the halls, doing lunges on the stairs, using the ball, and even getting into the tub (which I was told was magic and would speed everything up). Well, it didn’t. So by 3am and only being at 3cm, they broke my water.

We thought this would really speed things up. But it didn’t. And from there is gets pretty blurry for me. I labored until around 5am when we thought I was displaying all the signs of transitioning! So, Jason called my sweet friend and birth photographer,  Kristen Dyer (who took all these amazing images) to come to the hospital thinking we would be close. This was a false alarm too. I was at 7cm and would stay there until around 10:30 am. Around that time I finally got to 10cm! Fully dilated now and feeling every need and desire to push! So we tried a few times and I was told to stop!!

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After a quick check by the doctor it was determined that I needed to labor some more. The baby was not in the right position. So we waited. Which led to complete exhaustion on my part, my team’s part, and my uterus’s part. Did you know that your uterus could get tired and slow down? I didn’t. I have been in on a lot of births and never heard of this. So, the staff thought it would be best to start pitocin to help my tired uterus out. This sucked! A few hours later we tried pushing again with no luck. So then my doctor tried to go in and (stop reading here if your sqweemish) turn the baby to get it into the right position!!! I don’t know that I would wish that kind of pain on anyone… this also didn’t work. Since baby still looked good on the monitor we decided to try to labor a little longer and try a few more positions to get baby to move.

A few more hours later my sweet nurse returned to try pushing one more time. If it didn’t work this time the next step was to get an epidural and try turning the baby again!!!! Imagine the look on my face at that suggestion. I was like “where were you with that suggestion 3 hours ago?” I was so done!

So I gave it my all and, just like that, like it was no big deal at all, our sweet nurse Cristal says. “Stop pushing!!!!!!!!! The baby is coming”

Like a ninja Jason jumped on the bed behind me like he had done with Georgia’s birth and together we pushed. With my mom on my right and Sandy my birth coach on my left. 3 pushes later and we had a baby. Our reaction to the news of a boy is priceless. I was in total shock. And completely overwhelmed. A BOY!! A perfect, surprise, chubby, baby BOY!!!

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A total of 27 hours of natural labor to get one of the biggest and best surprises of our lives. He was born right on his due date. The craziest thing!

We loved introducing the girls to him and soaking in every little piece of newborn goodness. And now he is going to be 1 tomorrow! How is this possible? How has a year gone by so fast? A big shout out to the team I had there that day. Jason, my mom Karen, Sandy my birth coach, Cristal our nurse, Kristen for your support and amazing, priceless images, and Marv and Vicki for taking care of the girls.

I vividly remember the ride home from the hospital. I sobbed, full on hard to breathe crying. I was obviously tired and hormonal but on top of all that I was so thankful. Poor Jason kept trying to console me as I cried. How could I have ever been upset about being pregnant again? How could I have thought that my plans where better? I was so overwhelmed with the thought that I had made God so small, that I tried to tell Him what I thought was best for me. When all along He was preparing this little boy for us. This perfect little gift that we didn’t see coming. It’s so hard to see the big picture when you’re in it. Deep in your own selfish desires and thoughts about what you thought your life would or should look like. It’s like God reached down and shook His finger at me in that car. Like an earthy father saying “I told you so, why didn’t you trust me.”

Bowdy has made me a better mom. Maybe it’s because it’s my 3rd time around. But, I am so much calmer, so much more delighted in every little stage that he goes through. We obviously can’t imagine our life without him. We are so excited to celebrate his 1st birthday. It will be St. Patrick’s themed with Rubens and all.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. My hope is that it encourages you to look beyond what you think your plans might be to see the bigger picture. His plans for you are so much better than you can ever imagine.

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Happy Birthday Bo. You are so very loved.