The Lord tends to work in themes of my life.

All the books I have been reading and the studies I have been doing all seem to point to the same things, yet…

I find myself still trying to do it all on my own.

The Lord also tends to use others in my life to speak to me. I am often found in a conversation giving advice about what the TRUTH says, when I need to hear it as well. And then as I walk away I feel myself saying, “Oh! I see what you did there God… Good one.”

The saying, “God never gives you more than you can handle,” has been around for as long as I can remember. Before I really started trying to understand the gospel and the jealous God that I serve, I too believed this saying.

But, it’s a lie. Sorry if I just crushed everything you have ever believed.

God wants us to rely on Him for our needs, not ourselves. If he only gave us the things we could handle, we would NEVER truly go to Him. We wouldn’t really NEED His help. And oh goodness how I need Him!

When we feel overwhelmed, over worked, over tired, sick, weary, sad, depressed, busy…. this world will tell us to fix it ourselves. Take the pills, drink the drinks, watch more Netflix, sleep with the guy, sleep with the girl, eat that dessert, buy the dress, the purse, the shoes, the Starbucks. Cover it all up for a short time, but guess what. It’s all still there in the morning, staring us in the face, and then we get up feeling all the feels all over again.

What we are forgetting is to fall on our knees. To come back to the truth. Without God, we will continue to try (and fail) to do this life on our own.

But this world will tell you that you’re being week and needy.

“Chin up, you can do it, you’re fine, it’s all going to be alright.” Sound familiar?

I claim to be a pretty independent woman. Unfortunately, that has gotten me into trouble. I find myself falling back into the routine of handling it all. Making all the calls and shots and getting my ducks in a row on my own. It pretty much fails every time. I find my anxiety high and my temper short. I am the complete opposite of the woman that I want to be. The woman who I know God has made me. And I feel anything but confident.

I want to start a different movement. A movement that needs our mighty King. He is called the Savior for a reason! A world that needs one another and asks for help.

After Jesus died and rose again, his disciples where left to go about their lives without him being physically present with them.

One afternoon they decided to go fishing together. They were doing what they always had done- these men where top notch fishermen. This is what they did for a living! But that night they caught nothing. (John 21:3)

Jesus/Rabbi/Teacher then appears to them on the shore and tells the disciples to cast their nets to the right side of the boat. The net is then so full that they can not haul in all of the fish!

If he had to remind the disciples to depend on Him, I need so many more reminders. And I’m sure that is what he is doing to me daily. It’s just that I am often too caught up in trying over and over to do it alone that I miss his still, small, teaching voice in all of the other noise.

He will provide for us all that we need. He will come alongside us in our hard times and guide our nets. We just need to remember how much bigger He is. How much we need Him. He has not changed. God never will. But our selfish and unbelieving hearts so often try to go it alone. So I will fall today on my knees and remember that all I have is from the father. And none of it is mine!

This heavy plate Lord I give to you. Guide my net daily and keep my eyes fixed on how much I need you. I don’t want to live a life that doesn’t require you.